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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
A thought provoking piece. Chalk up a good bit of outrage to absolutism/black and white thinking. Such thinking can limit your options (right vs wrong, good vs bad, winning vs losing); compel you to draw rigid lines in the sand (lines that are not easily moved even when new data points emerge); and stifle conversations (my way or the highway). Over the years I've noticed that many absolutist thinkers have a hard time letting go of things, and more easily become frustrated and angry when they don't get what they want or expect. And not to mention, such thinking is clinically proven to cause anxiety and depression.

In my 20s, especially, I had a penchant for absolutist thinking. At least much more so than today. It sucked. Bad. As a result it hindered/stifled my growth as an individual. Being stuck in old habits and thought patterns was comfortable...sadly, to my own detriment.
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) on Pinned comment
Haunted



Nothing Compares 2U



The Foggy Dew





Downpressor Man
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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
Such an interesting article/perspective. It takes hard work and a certain level of both humility and awareness to unlearn what our nation (clan, tribe, schooling, etc.) has brainwashed us to believe.
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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
Really interesting. This study reminds me of the recent presidential race and my (initial) shock reading a litany of prejudiced/stereotypical Facebook comments from folks I consider to be intelligent and socially conscious -- I know that we have all have our moments (where we wish we could take something we said back), but some these Facebook 'friends' have been unrelenting and kept it up.

I suspect that there is some truth to listening to people when they are angry, b/c that's when the real truth comes out.

"When people cannot tolerate angry emotions, they tend to act out their anger inappropriately. They find it difficult to control and are hurtful or abusive to themselves and others. Often, they act against their own best interests." -Dr. Firestone
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Siavash Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
Well.... well... well...
If some one cut his hand and start bleeding, the people who are standing close by try to provide some kind of help. They try to stop the bleeding or helpful as much as possible.
How about "Emotional bleeding" ? Rarely people provide help once some one bleeding emotionally.. People can NOT see the emotionally bleeding but they can see if some one cutting the hand. So may be that is the reason NO research has ever done on emotional stage of development. Bleeding from cutting hand leads to physical death if help doesn't get provided, yet Emotional bleeding leads to suicide.
Almost all the people who attempted suicide at one time their life, years later they confessed that they didn't want to die, they just wanted to stop the pain. They meant "Emotional pain".
Freud did a heck of a good job to created development of sexuality from infancy to adulthood. He called it sexual energy or "Libido". He said it starts from oral, then sexual energy travels to Anal, finally it concentrate on genital part.
Jean Piaget also did a good job in terms of development of intelligent from infancy throughout adulthood. Piaget based his clinical observation on his grand children.
Kohlberg did a comprehensive research on the area of Moral development. His work is outstanding and remarkable due to his cross cultural research.
Unfortunately once it comes to emotions, we have nothing handy to discuss.
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Siavash Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
Yes Mr. Amin. We discussed it on your previous blog. It is commonly called "Emotional intelligent". It is ability to travel outside of ourselves and see the world from the other angle. To see the wold from the eyes of someone else. Empathy had been described as "Putting yourself in someone else shoe". That is also called "Emotional intelligence". People who are emotionally smart will be able to see other person's point of view. They're able to feel the pain or pleasure of others.
On contrary, people who are "Emotionally dumb" are NOT able to travel outside of themselves and see the world from the other person's point of view. They're wrapped in their small, tiny world which is mostly vicious and promotes hate than love and forgiveness. Unfortunately, there is not that much research in this area. Similarly, there is NOT that much research in the area of "Ethic and Morality". After Kohlberg's stages of Moral Development, No other research had been done in the subject matter. Kohlberg research is admirable because he expanded his work to the third wold countries such as Vietnam and Turkey. Kohlberg concluded that morality in third world countries doesn't go beyond stage 1 or 2. Morality in third world countries run from religion believes, NOT family values. Based on what we see in Kohlberg's theory, we may conclude that people from third wold country are NOT emotionally smart. That could be the reason their political system have some kind of the dictatorship throughout the centuries. Of course, that is only my hypothesis at this stage. Like I said before, the more research needs to be done.
Gestalt Therapy or Chair technique is best kind of practice to improve our "empathy". To improve that journey from outside of ourselves. Chair technique was widely used in Psychotherapy back in 70's. In that, one chair represents ourself. It is called "Under Dog". "Top dog" is a chair represents other person. Once the person sits on the "Top Dog" chair, he/she should express the view of another person and once he/she sits on the "Under dog" chair, he/she represents him or herself. Simultaneously change the chair between top dog and under dog or expressing both point of views make the individual gain "Insight". Discourse or dialog between top dog and underdog make us to see the world from other person's angle. It make us to be able to travel outside of ourself. This technique is very powerful. It promises highly in term of clinical improvement at "Parent-Child problem".
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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
I feel great inspiration when talking/listening to people who have a flexible and imaginative mind. From what I have observed in my own life, they also tend to be some of the least judgmental people I know.
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said Saïd Amin (@said) replied to Dakho (@Dakho) on Pinned comment
I love the lyrics, especially "You only think of dollar bills sat neatly in a stack, but when you kiss a dollar bill...it doesn't kiss you back." -- brilliant :)
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Dakho Dakho (@Dakho) replied to Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
"Making memories instead of money" indeed.
This reminds me of a song by that Italian American philosopher, Professor Louie Prima

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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
I love this bit, "There are even signs that even high-earning young professionals who could choose to invest in stocks or property are instead becoming increasingly focused on making memories instead of money."
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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
A really helpful list of activities endorsed by Dr. Fredrickson (author of “Love 2.0”) and others to help foster positive emotions:

Do good things for other people. In addition to making others happier, this enhances your own positive feelings. It can be something as simple as helping someone carry heavy packages or providing directions for a stranger.

Appreciate the world around you. It could be a bird, a tree, a beautiful sunrise or sunset or even an article of clothing someone is wearing. I met a man recently who was reveling in the architectural details of the 19th-century houses in my neighborhood.

Develop and bolster relationships. Building strong social connections with friends or family members enhances feelings of self-worth and, long-term studies have shown, is associated with better health and a longer life.

Establish goals that can be accomplished. Perhaps you want to improve your tennis or read more books. But be realistic; a goal that is impractical or too challenging can create unnecessary stress.

Learn something new. It can be a sport, a language, an instrument or a game that instills a sense of achievement, self-confidence and resilience. But here, too, be realistic about how long this may take and be sure you have the time needed.

Choose to accept yourself, flaws and all. Rather than imperfections and failures, focus on your positive attributes and achievements. The loveliest people I know have none of the external features of loveliness but shine with the internal beauty of caring, compassion and consideration of others.

Practice resilience. Rather than let loss, stress, failure or trauma overwhelm you, use them as learning experiences and steppingstones to a better future. Remember the expression: When life hands you a lemon, make lemonade.

Practice mindfulness. Ruminating on past problems or future difficulties drains mental resources and steals attention from current pleasures. Let go of things you can’t control and focus on the here-and-now. Consider taking a course in insight meditation.
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) replied to Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
When criminal monarchists take joy in the hardship imposed on Iranian people and other immigrant communities in the US, that is called Sadistic Jubilation.
Monarchist thugs have as much emotional intelligence as Nazi guards of Auschwitz used to have; zero.
And that's another reason why in Iran donkeys, dogs and monkeys are more respected, paid more attention to and have more utility than the demented, crazed criminal monarchist cult.
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Siavash Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
One more thing about EMPATHY and EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.
We can conclude that the commentators who receive more admiration, attention on the Iranians sites possess higher degree of emotional intelligence because they're able to see the world from other people's angle. They have higher degree of "Empathy" because they are able to feel what other person is feeling when they make a comment. They're able to make a journey out of themselves and see the world from reader's angle. They're able to put themselves in the shoes of other person (Empathy).
On contrary, people who use profanity or vulgar language have lower degree of "emotional intelligence" because they're NOT cable of seeing world from the side of the readers. They're NOT aware what other peoples' feeling, thinking when they read their profane comments. That is commonly called "Emotional dumbness" or "Callus".
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) replied to Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
How about those consistently psychotics calls for a restoration of SAVAK torture chambers in Iran?
And monarchists' deep remorse felt over why SAVAK wasn't a bit more savage, brutal and should have tortured more effectively!
Would that be part of a Nazi Gestalt/Zeitgeist (bordering on 'collective consciousness' of Jung)?*
Or just 'good' ol fashioned monarchist douche bag, scum cult?

* Theodor Adorno in response to Jung's rather archaic (closet Nazi) notions, posits that collective consciousness occurs only in Earthquakes and catastrophes.
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Siavash Siavash (@Siavash) on Pinned comment
Interesting article. Thanks.
First I have to say that empathy is to "put yourself in someone else shoes" The writer failed to address the solution technique therapy in detail. In solving solution technique , the psychologists use measurement from 0 to 10 scale. 10 represent the sunny day that employee didn't have any problem with his/her boss and 0 represent the day the employee and his/her boss on the edge of explosion. The utmost degree of hate between 2 parties.
Now, what we can do to reach number 10 from 0 ? The solution therapy technique meant to solve the problem by encouraging and reinforcing good behavior. The writer implied briefly on that technique, but he failed to go to detail.
Second, As far as "Empathy" concerned, I have to say Gestalt Therapy is the most powerful technique in understanding other person's feeling and emotions.
In this technique, the client use 2 chairs. One represents himself/herself and the other one represents other person. So when the person sit on his/her chair, he/she express his/her view and when he/she sits on the other chair, he/she represent other person's view.
Gestalt therapy use the term of "Top dog" and "under dog" for these 2 chairs. "Top dog" could be parents or anyone in the position of authority. "Underdog" is the client who want to understand other person's view (empathy" . The dialog between top dog and under dog lead to "insight". The client simultaneously change the chairs. When client sits on top dog chair as if the boss or parent is talking. When client sits on underdog chair, the client talks his/her heart out. Talks about his/her own feeling toward parents or bosses. One chair represent the client and the other chair represent other person. The discourse between top dog and underdog gives good understanding of empathy. To understand other person's view. Practicing this technique enable the person to see other people's view. it is very powerful technique that is used in clinical setting in the course of psychotherapy.
Lenin wrote a book in his final years by the name of "The psychology of Mass". This book translated to Farsi in Moscow. The translator had very poor writing skill in Farsi, but we understand the content if we pay close attention. In the book Lenin conceptualized that Mass display dynamic which is way different than individual. I was surprised to see the same concept years later in the work of Max Werteimer's. Almost 16 years after Lenin death, his idea came to the work of Max. Max crystalized Lenin notion of Mass dynamic and said that "The whole is more than some of it's part". To make more clear I have to use the metaphor of drop of water. Each drop of water has different dynamic than ocean. Remember ocean is accumulation of drop of water, but they have different dynamic. Mass display outrages energy which is way more powerful than accumulation of each person's energy. The same as drop of water and accumulation of water in ocean.
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) on Pinned comment
As a teacher of Emotional Intelligence, Armand DiMele deserves his shares.
The Positive Mind
digital-magic.tv/digitalplanet/thepositivemind/categories_new.php

Per not being covered by school education, is a bit reminiscence of Damien Dempsey's thought on the subject
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) on Pinned comment
What this article forgets to mention is the extensive history and practice of how Muslims themselves Dehumanize each other, consider their fellow Muslims (from different sects) as less than human and murder each other.
The historical roots of such Dehumanization among Muslims goes back to the early split between Sunnis and Shias in 7th century. Thirteen centuries ago there were no USA, Zionism, CIA, MI6,...so we could rest assure only Muslims themselves are to be hold responsible for this division and sectarianism.
Treatment of Shia is KSA or treatment of Sunnis in Islamic Republic of Hell is a sad indication that such Dehumanizing dynamics among Muslims and against their fellow Muslims is unfortunately very much alive and active.
Trump will be impeached very soon and kicked out of WH, but the historical institutions of Dehumanization in the Muslim world, against their own fellow Muslims will not disappear in a few years.
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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) on Pinned comment
Here's a bit more of the dark practice of Dehumanization by savage Mullahs of Islamic Republic of Hell.
The report below in Persian is about how the families of executed politcal prisoners in Iran are not even allowed to visit the unmarked mass graves of their loved ones, after decades from those mass executions in late 80's.
Mullahs make Trump look like a boy scout!
The picture below is one of the executed political prisoners whose body was not fully covered in the mass graves of Khavaran.

Madaran e Khavaran- a report




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ChamoshChamoshvnd ChamoshChamoshvnd (@ChamoshChamoshvnd) on Pinned comment
What the Right wing politicians are doing in the West in terms of dehumanizing Muslim is essentially the same thing ruling class Mullahs have been doing in Iran to all their opponents
Mullahs also dehumanize and consider all their opponents as less than human.
Mullahs in Iran even don't let the executed political prisoners to be buried in regular cemeteries and unceremoniously dump all the executed political prisoners in mass graves.
And if all this wasn't enough, later on they try to even destroy the mass graves so there will be no trace of their crimes.
Mullahs could teach Trump & Co. a lesson or two about Dehumanizing others.
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said Saïd Amin (@said) on Pinned comment
Another consequence of heavy propaganda is distraction. Inundated with real news, fake news, social media and everything in between, information overload is making us lose sight of what's truly important. As a result we waste so much of our energy on nonsense, distracted from both organizing and  focusing on the things that really matter; things that can truly make a difference. It's time to stop bing-watching a Trump reality show that strategically spews frivolous propaganda as a means of keeping people distracted. Focus on what's real/important and filter out the rubbish.

Words of wisdom from social scientist Herb Simon (published in 1971):

“In an information-rich world, the wealth of information means a dearth of something else: a scarcity of whatever it is that information consumes. What information consumes is rather obvious: it consumes the attention of its recipients. Hence a wealth of information creates a poverty of attention.”
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